| Have you ever thought about what lives under your nails? And I'm not talking about nasty bacteria, the government just made that up. I'm talking about the people of Xenophilius, the tiny population of germ sized human/scorpions that find refuge in the dirt under your nails. |
|
 | I'm so worried, Lazarus. I hear that the Human is planning to clip their nails again--where will we and the children go? | |
|
| Don't worry Patricia, this is easily solved; someone just needs to climb up to the Human's Ear and "diligently" try to convince It to "digress" from the nail-cutting path. | |
|
|
|
|
|
| It is the natural instinct for the tribe of Xenophilia to fear "divergence"; nobody was willing to make the long, treacherous journey all the way to the Ear of the Human. Eventually, much to Patricia's dismay, Lazarus was voted to go because of his naturally friendly "disposition". If anyone could convince the Human to sympathize with their situation, he could. |
|
| NO, NOT BY BELOVED HAIR STYLIST! I need you to stay to at least fix my highlights, Lazarus! | |
|
| You know I can't Patricia, but I'll miss you and your luscious locks everyday. I heard the Human is very "docile"; hopefully It's opinion will be easily persuaded. If I am gone longer than 483 years, know that I am dead. | |
|
|
|
|
|
| So Lazarus began his dangerous journey to the Ear. Unfortunately for him, he died within reaching only the first knuckle of the ring finger, for the Human had punched something out of agitation, and Lazarus was crushed to his deathbed. His funeral was a quiet affair, small, only immediate family, and was interrupted by the dreaded nail cutting. Nearly everyone died after that except a tiny gay community hidden in the back, so the people of Xenophilius died out anyway. I told you this story because this is the tragic tale of your hands. Remember back to the last time you cut your nails; do you even remember the terrified screams of pain as you cut through them, or are you such a monster that you just ignored it? You foul Human. Remember Lazarus in your prayers, and maybe you shall be forgiven. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
