| After counting 2% of the votes cast... |
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 | Tonight our news analysts are predicting Sen Obama has won the South Carolina Primary. | |
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| We'll now take a short break and when we return have an interview with Bill Clinton. | |
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| President Clinton says go to hell! | |
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| Due to technical difficulties we now turn to Asian reporter Trisha Nagasaki interviewing some dumbasses on the street. | |
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| Ted, I was thinking we could go out to the van and smoke some crack. | |
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